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It has been some 13 years now, that I have been living in rented apartments. While I miss the open garden and patio of an independent house, I realize that maintaining an apartment is far easier. Nuclear families like mine function better in an apartment. At the same time, when you are busy making the new apartment your home, there are those uninvited interventions that make the transition pretty rough. Neighbors, pets, security guards, society head and members.

Neighbors:

I have encountered....Elderly spinsters plonking themselves in front of our tv for 5 hours every evening and commenting on our furniture, our sense of fashion, dinner menu etc. Want to be polite and kind to senior citizens...but you need to get a life, dear auntie!

Elderly couples following us all the way into our bedrooms when we got back from a hard day’s work, trying to see if, in their opinion, we needed something.  Thank you surrogate in-laws, but nobody walks into the bedroom of a newly married couple.

Angry women slamming their front door if they saw us waiting for the lift at the lobby, or opening our door to let somebody in or out. No, we don’t want to smell the pungent fish from your kitchen either.

Women sitting idle in their living room, with their front door wide open. They try to peer into our house, every time our front door is opened.  I smile, you smile, I say hi, you say hi, but nothing more to talk since you have started staring.

Some lovely women (now good friends) spending some pleasant afternoons, with the kids and me. Thanks for being the exceptions, and not misunderstanding me when I have asked you to leave.

Some women asking me to join them for a mid-morning coffee or chai. Thanks for introducing me to the other residents in the building and planning playdates for your son with mine.   

Teenaged girls coming by to spend some fun time with my kids, sometimes even babysitting when I needed some time off. Thanks for making me feel comfortable and safe to leave the children under your care.

Pets:

I have seen......Aggressive, huge dogs pouncing on us trying to get friendly...my husband enjoyed them, I didn’t.

Friendly Labradors with beautiful eyes, wagging their tails away, getting me to actually consider owning one of them, when I really hate dogs.

Smelly ones, leaving a stench that lasts half an hour after they get off the lift. I do understand why some residents ask for pets to be taken in a separate lift.

Cats, running out from under the chassis, just as the car starts to move with me at the wheel.

Pigeons and crows, crapping all over the place. The protective nylon nets around my windows are a blessing.

Security Guards:

I have come across......Friendly ones that would insist on hand delivering (junk) mail or newspaper, and then coming back grinning for Ganpati or Diwali. Want to, but can’t live without them.

Making small talk about the heat, the rain, and my kids, all the time glaring at the neckline.

Snoring ones that refuse to open the gate when you return after a late night outing, despite loud honking and flashing lights on their faces.

Cocky ones that want to say way too much to visitors – Madam is alone with kids, Saab is in Dubai, he just left yesterday.

Ones that know every single detail about you, probably which undergarment store you go to – because they are chaddi buddies with your maid or driver.

Society :

I have met......Strict society heads that criticize your parking skills because your car is 2” outside your garage or parking slot.

Friendly ones who want you to pitch into every small odd job in the society and forget that you are only a tenant.

Same ones treating you differently in a society meeting, because you are a tenant, and you have no right to give long term suggestions.

Fake ones that come running to collect money for a security guard’s mother’s TB treatment expenses, or when the plants need more maintenance money.

From the time I opted to be a Stay at Home Mom, these are among the very many interesting things I come across on a daily basis. Most often, (given that I am a Virgo) I end up criticizing basic things and probably get more hassled because others don’t pay attention to details.

I have a panic attack when somebody spits paan into the tracks of the sliding doors in the lift and it gets stuck. Am paranoid that I might get stuck inside with one or both kids when am running against time to get some important jobs done.

I get really riled when I see the two girls (10 yr olds) manhandling my kid’s bicycle that is parked in the parking area. Only to find out that they are cousins of a resident in the building and don’t even live here. They race around the parking area on their cycles, every evening and invariably end up scratching one or more cars, and have broken and uprooted quite a few plants.

I do appreciate, however, that the building has a rule to wash the balconies (every flat has 5) only on Friday between 11am to 1pm. This includes soaping and washing the balconies or watering the plants and cleaning the pots.

I wonder if these things affect other women who live in apartments, or am I the only one complaining. Men too don’t seem to be affected much by it, unless of course something happens.

Last Monday at 8:45am, a happy smiling ‘Good bye!’, ‘Have a good day!’, ‘All the best!’ went to my husband from me, just when he entered the lift. It was his first meeting with the seniors who had flown in from London, to assess his department’s work. The preparation for this had begun almost a fortnight ago, and the readying of the attire started on Saturday when we had to get the blazer ironed, shoes polished, tie chosen, the trousers and shirt kept ready.

Exactly 3 mins later, when I answered my door bell, I saw a familiar guy standing there. Head, shoulder and bust completely soaked, yet smoke coming out of his ears. There are exceptions to every rule.....I live on the 3^rd floor, and the 5^th floor maid decided to wash the balcony on a Monday at 8:45am. She was apparently on leave on Friday and wanted to please her Madam who was out of town.