Moving moves!

Moving homes is a huge challenge for people of all ages.

As a 5 yr old, we moved from a bungalow to a one bedroom outhouse when I lost my father. I was happy to be in a smaller place; since the entire family would spend almost all the time in that one room, I felt more secure. But I missed the space the old house gave me to play and cycle around, and the view that the front sit-out gave me, of a school and a telephone exchange.

As a 9 yr old, we moved from Bangalore to my uncle’s place in Chennai. It was the home that all of us cousins would visit during our summer holidays. It used to be baking hot, but the company and open air play in the garden made up for the heat. So, the move meant a permanent stay at my annual holiday destination. I was most excited, and didn’t even miss the 2 good friends I had made in Bangalore by then.

I spent a good 15 yrs in this home in Chennai, made friends from school, college, neighbourhood and had starting working too. Then my mother and I moved to her apartment in the same area, which brought no changes in my life other than the fact that it was a smaller place, and had no garden. At that age, it was insignificant.  The next move was to another area, again in Chennai, when I got married. Nothing changed here too, other than the excitement of doing the apartment up from scratch, all by myself.

The moves after this were to Mumbai and then back to Chennai, this time as a stay at home mom with a 6 month old baby.  We then moved to Gurgaon for 9 months, and have now back in Mumbai for the last 4 years, to what I call home!

Across all this, I have realized a few things.

The only thing that matters to a toddler when the family moves, is the security the parent offers before and after the move. Children adjust so quickly. Friends and comfort zone hardly matter to them, as long as they 

have their parents, their toys, bed, clothes around them.

It is highly depressing for a teenager who is out most of the time, hanging out with friends for hours on end. It is very difficult to move out of an area where you have grown from a child into a teenager. It is also an age when they are trying to make sense of their own identity and character, and the task of making new friends is not any easier.

A young woman has excitement, anxiety and fear when moving to her new home when she is just married. It sometimes takes her years to adjust to her surroundings, her husband and his family.  When this woman moves with an infant, she is worried about the support she will get from family and friends to make the transition easy.

When she moves with a toddler, her support system and the toddler’s security is of utmost importance.  Beyond this stage, her challenges are school admissions and other responsibilities to ensure that her home runs smoothly despite the move.

An elderly person worries the most when a move happens. While the anxiety can be compared to the one that the toddler might experience, the other challenges are proximity to doctors, hospitals, temples, a park where they can interact with other elders etc. If they have already established a routine in the old place, it emotionally affects them until they are able to mirror the same routine in the new place.

A family member or a very close friend may move out of town. If it is for a happy reason, the feelings are mixed. But it affects you in a big way if you are really close and they are the people who build your comfort zone.

However, Moves do remind you of the fact that “Change is the only permanent thing in our lives!” and so, it makes it more interesting. A positive outlook, high energy levels and some excitement is all that it takes to make the transition smooth.

But the really surprising thing about moves, is that the Men are never really affected by them. Even though, more often than not, they are the ones who cause it. The number of hours spent at home is hardly comparable to a woman (unless she is on a full-time job herself), and what matters is just the family, the familiar furniture, TV and a bottle of beer!

If only more of us were so lucky......