Is it right to write?

A month ago, I was informed by my 6 yr old son’s teacher that he needed to brush up his writing.....now, I know for a fact that he speaks very good English and is extremely fluent. With a bit of probing she clarified that she meant ‘formation of alphabets’.

His books anyway reveal many red marks and remarks on his writing. This is because he changes his font (calibri / comic sans / courier new / Georgia) from line to line. He has a logic to everything, and the one he gave me for this is – “I hate writing, so I tried to do something different in each line. Now my page looks beautiful, not really boring anymore!”  As a parent, yes, I was filled with glee that my 6 yr old was imaginative, creative, and I needed to help him explore this side of him. But as an Indian school student’s parent, I was left with no choice but to tell him that he could do all this in his rough book, but had to stick to rules (however boring and hateful they may be) when it came to his class work. The teacher herself suggested that I keep erasing every bit of incorrect formation until he gets it right.

One weekend later, he looked around for a pen that I needed, and, much to his amusement, he didn’t find one. He came back with a grin saying “There is no pen in this house, and that means, nobody writes, so why should I learn how to”? True to his observation, any writing happens on the laptop and so it set me thinking. Why don’t we just teach the kids how to type instead? He is already familiar with the qwerty keyboard, and although he uses just his right index finger, he loves typing things in a word file, and was very happy to find the spell check function. Now he is questioning the need for dictation. I am yet to figure out how to answer that.

The educational system isn’t really keeping pace the rapid evolution of human intelligence, so I started looking at games online that taught children how to type... and learnt that some states in the US have introduced typing for kindergarten kids.

Yet, just two days ago, I was chatting with a friend of mine who has a 9 yr old daughter. While we were busy exchanging notes on kids, schools, maids, classes etc, I happened to mention about the feedback that came from my son’s teacher. Up until that moment, the 9 yr old girl was completely lost in a game on her iPad with her head down, back hunched, right index finger-tip moving vigorously on the screen. She looked up now, and plainly said, “Why bother writing or typing? Ask him to use the Dragon dictate app, it just needs voice”!

Confessions

5 items in my freezer

1.       5 mini liqueur chocolates

2.       ¼ kg boneless chicken breast piece

3.       Frozen Chaat chutneys

4.       Whole spices

5.       A packet of frozen peas

5 items in my wardrobe

1.       Several plastic and steel hangers

2.       6 sarees waiting (for 7 years) to be worn

3.       Clothes

4.       Wallet

5.       Footwear

5 items in my car

1.       Music CD’s  - English / Hindi / Tamil

2.       Car tissues

3.       Ganesha idol

4.       Pen

5.       Coins

5 items in my wallet

1.       Photograph of my mom and kids

2.       Currency Notes

3.       Coins

4.       Driving License

5.       Credit Cards

5 items on my dresser

1.       Deodorant

2.       Perfume

3.       Comb

4.       Eyeliner

5.       Lipstick

I tag Rohini, Navina and Sirisha, to continue to play!!!

Arranged vs Love!

My understanding of arranged marriages is this. First, the horoscopes are exchanged, then the astrologer approves the 10/10 match. The boy’s and girl’s sides exchange profile pictures, followed by a girl-seeing session. I guess, this is more for the boy’s side to assess the girl’s wealth, culinary silks, and her interest in Bharatnatyam and Carnatic Music. The date is then fixed and they get married. If they are lucky, they will be allowed to meet up and maybe write to each other until the wedding.

Surprisingly, I seem to have seen more of the abnormal ones. The 70’s saw many love marriages in the family. Some cousins married each other. One made his sister’s best friend, his wife. While one married her colleague, another married her tuition teacher. A third married a North Indian friend of hers.

In my circle of friends too, there seem to be many who have married their childhood sweethearts, colleagues, friends etc.

My sister married a nice guy she met at a family friend’s wedding, and my other sister married our paternal cousin. I married my foodie friend from work; there seemed to be more love for food than for each other.

When somebody asks me if mine was arranged, I say no. The next statement is that it was then a love marriage, and I still say no. I think it was somewhere in between, a convenience marriage... a food bond, that progressed to a ‘I know you so well, I might as well get married to you!’  or ‘A known devil is better than an unknown angel!’ state. The two families had nothing much to say, so we ended up married.

Today, arranged marriages almost seem extinct. If at all  there is one, it seems like the girl or the guy wasn’t smart enough to find his/her own match. The compromises that one has to make to stay married (leave alone happily) these days are unimaginable. I see many love marriages falling apart, wonder how the arranged ones carry on.

In fact, 10 years ago, at the peak of my independence, I was completely against getting married. It felt like I would lose my freedom to buy whatever I wanted, eat wherever I wanted, and not worry about where I lived and what bills were paid.

I see the youngsters in the family sailing in the same boat now. They don’t want to get married, they don’t believe in love, they don’t want to live in someone else’s shadow, they don’t want to be tied down, they don’t want to have children. But, they are ok with living-in with partners, having a steady partner or just have a specific bunch of good friends to hang out with.

Is this commitment phobia? Is the society changing? Is it the financial independence that they don’t want to let go? Is it the fear of the unknown? Is it the impact of broken marriages?

I don’t really know which one..... but one thing is sure, there is no hope in hell for those lovely kanjivaram sarees sitting in my wardrobe...... they will wear out at the folds and wither away over time, and never see the light and air of a wedding hall!!!

Guilt is fast asleep!!

Rohini tagged me on Mommy guilt.

I am a night owl and fridays and saturdays are the only nights I can relax and just be me. So I totally enjoy the late mornings in bed with the blanket over my head, and the pillow snug-fitting into my doubled up frame. My kids wake up an hour earlier than school mornings, simply because they are excited about the weekend. Their dad takes care of the morning chores and the kids. If I am awake, I can hear them troubling him to brush their teeth, getting ready for their bath, potty time, etc. All the time, I just laze in bed and even if I am not sleeping...I am reading a book or checking stuff on my blackberry.

Nah, not guilty at all. In fact, if I am awake, I have a satisfied smirk on my face. Especially when I hear the Dad pleading with them and yelling at them. Topping that.....if I am called out for help, I stomp and sulk for another hour.

Am tagging Shai and Navina.....

Cars and Boys

Thirteen years ago, I would reel out the car numbers, models and colours of the cars of all my colleagues. The parking lot fascinated me, I would go up to the 7th floor terrace and see the line of cars and try and figure out which one was whose. My favourite online game was Parking Perfection (all versions). My close friends would be awed by my memory and interest in cars. My dream in life at that time, was to buy my own car and drive to work in a starched printed silk saree. Up until then, I used to think that Cars was a boy-thing.  But I realized driving came naturally to me, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

My husband loves driving too. He once drove from one city to another, for 7 hours and was visibly unhappy that we had reached our destination. He also enjoys reading up information about the technical, mechanical facts of different cars and models. He passes on a lot of this to my older son too. (Genetically and Specifically)

My older child was fascinated with his first toy car when he was 6 months old. He couldn’t take his eyes off the wheels, would lie on the floor and see the wheels (probably could count rpm too!).  He connected it with a real car only when he was about 1, probably because he had a couple of new toy cars of which he could open and close the doors.

When he was 2, and started talking, he referred to our cars, only by their names – Toyota Innova and Hyundai Getz. In about a year’s time, when he was more than 3, he used to be most excited driving around sitting in his carseat. He thoroughly enjoyed the Mumbai traffic jams (maximum of 1.5 hrs once) because he got to see so many cars around.

He gaped, ogled and reeled out the model names. While it’s true that we have ended up giving him this information all along, we were surprised at the fact that he could recognize the models from a wheel or side of the car. We had to wait for the car to pass by, so we could get a quick glimpse of the logo at the rear.

He is 6 now, and getting him out of the car in front of school is a big task. He gets all excited and starts jumping around, yelling out “Mamma, that white Skoda Superb is Krish’s car!”, “That black Honda CRV is Jay’s car, he also has a navy blue BMW, you know?”

My second one was born into a home that had a bed in the shape of a car, and two tubs full of four wheelers for toys. He is 2.5 yrs now, has started making full sentences and repeats whatever big bro says. More often than not, he has no clue of what he is repeating, but that doesn’t really deter him. If he happens to see cars on the road, he asks his brother which ones they are. And if he is travelling alone with me, he reels out model names like a pro, even though the cars don’t match. This afternoon he saw a Maruti Alto and yelled, “Mamma, theee, Hondhaa thivick”...

Our family’s most favourite movie till date is “Cars” and, needless to say, we can’t wait for June 24th to watch its sequel. While on the subject, I can’t resist sharing the conversation that these two boys had, on our way to school this morning:

Older one: Look, that is a BMW!

Younger one: Loook, dhaath ith a behind dhabaloo!

Older one: Not behind W, its BMW, if you can’t say it, its ok, say   ‘Beamer’!

Younger one: Okay, dhaath ith a beemah dhabaloo

Older one: You are a funny brother, and I love you!

Younger one: <<Grinning, giggling, gurgling.......>>

Raindrops keep falling.....

I hate to sit at home as it rains
No access to the window panes
No sunshine or bright light
I feel dull and it isn't right
So I step out for a wet drive
On the highway in gear five
Wipers swishing really fast
Listening to music of the past
Heading to the Inorbit mall
So the kids can have a ball
I can see more faces and colors
And also lighten my purse
Have a hot and spicy meal
Maybe catch a movie reel
A good plan this sunday
To have a proper funday

Kiddie Classics

Those lovely movies, songs I watched and heard as I grew up.....I am reliving those days through my kids. In fact, I seem to be more fascinated and glued to the TV when the kids have wandered off after an hour or so into the movie. Or they just enjoy the songs (most often, choosing songs from the DVD Menu) and carry on!

Pretty Mary Poppins perched on the clouds with her open umbrella that has a talking parrot for a holder. The cute little dancing penguins and the wandering horse from the carousel, the adorable Bert and his blackened face after the cleaning of the Chim Chimney Chim Chimney Chim Chim Cheroo. Love the toy cleaning sessions, A spoonful of sugar and how she leaves the children when they find happiness in the company of their parents. My kids thoroughly enjoy the movie and the songs, especially the floating professor’s I love to laugh and Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious....

The hilarious and lovable Mr Potts, with Someone to care for, to be there for;  he has his two children. They love his unique inventions – Breakfast maker with a chugging train in the kitchen, toot sweet maker, carpet cleaner, the race car converted into a flying and sailing one. The kids’ new friend, Truly Scrumptious, and their trips to the beach and to the palace of the child hating queen of Bulgaria, in their Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. What an amazing movie (story by Roald Dahl); makes you want to dream again and makes you want to go back to being a child again....

My fancy for the English language and its many beautiful nuances started off with Henry Higgins trying to convert Eliza Doolittle from a flower-girl to what he could call My Fair Lady. I still love it when he sings, Why can’t the English teach their children how to speak or Why can’t a woman be like me?; and when she sings Just you wait Henry Higgins and The rain in Spain; and of course Mr Doolittle singing his cheerful I’m getting married in the morning. I have replaced atleast 6 cassettes, 3 CD’s of this soundtrack, that’s how much I love them. My kids don’t enjoy the movie as much as the songs, since there are no children in the movie.

The hills are alive with the Sound of Music......I get goose bumps even today when I see the camera rising over the hills of Salzburg in the opening shot of the movie. My love for music today owes a lot to the memory of enjoying this movie in my childhood. I can see that my kids love it too. They are humming Do re mi and High on the hills.... all the time even when their hands are running cars and trains on the floor.

I encourage watching these movies now and then, since they have purely positive effects on children, and they offer a lot of energy and promise. But the kids today are far smarter than I remember myself being when I was a kid. Across all these movies, the few things that my 6 yr old seems to have understood clearly....

Mothers shout at kids, but Nannies don’t; Kids have a good time when their mothers are not around; The didi who spends more time at home is their Nanny; and if Mamma wants to ever go away, Daddy will marry the Didi, and they will all live happily ever after!!!